Welcome to the Mad Max phase of the Doug Ford government. Premier Ford’s request for the feds to legalize pepper spray—and his musings on granting private security the power of arrest—is the latest display of his trademark bluster. We have pivoted from fixing systems to arming individuals in record time.

The Premier looked at a $5.5 billion police budget and essentially said: “I don’t know what to do. It doesn’t work. I can’t guarantee you won’t get mugged at the mall, so here’s a can of hot sauce. Good luck.” We’ve gone from “Open for Business” to “Armed for Business.”

It is, frankly, silly. This is a total admission of policy failure. If the Premier is telling you that you need a weapon to buy a carton of milk, he’s admitting his leadership isn’t working. While there is an obvious need for bail reform—beyond the “revolving door” created by the Trudeau government—you don’t solve the crisis by throwing your arms up and telling citizens to fend for themselves.

Sure, there are merits to self-defense, but imagine a Shoppers Drug Mart where a customer discharges mace in an enclosed space. That is a lawsuit that could bankrupt a municipality.

As for granting security guards “real power”? We already have that in the Criminal Code; it’s called a citizen’s arrest. The Premier is attempting to create a shadow police force. Can you imagine a world where 19-year-olds in security vests are treated like Delta Force members? Private security doesn’t require police-level powers at $18-an-hour with “mall-level” accountability. It’s beyond the pale.

Ontario needs actual policy, not bravado. The second you apply a shred of introspection to this proposal, it falls apart like a house of cards. We live in a society viewed through the lens of liability; businesses don’t want to get their hands dirty, yet the Premier is practically forcing them to.

Success doesn’t require “hot sauce”—it requires data. Look at Windsor. The Windsor Police’s dedicated retail unit actually works. They partner with retailers to guide them through the “black box” of filing complaints and following up. Last December, in just three days, they partnered with 15 retailers, arrested 32 people, and recovered $3,000 in stolen property.

That is how you achieve success. You don’t need to arm people in the aisles; you just need to use known policing techniques.

Even the Ontario Association of Chiefs of Police is distancing itself, essentially saying, “Whoa, we weren’t consulted on this.” When Police Chiefs are finding out about provincial policy from a Colin D’Mello tweet or a Brian Lilley column, we have a problem.

We’ve stopped protecting Ontario and started protecting the narrative.

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