ourWindsor.ca: Miss Canada Named Winter Fest Parade Grand Marshall


Jonathon LiedtkeourWindsor.ca – Dec. 14, 2012


After Windsor was labeled “The Earth’s Rectum” by professional comedian and satirist Stephen Colbert, some Windsorites have gotten all hot and bothered by the comparison. As such, the Downtown Windsor Business Improvement Association (DWBIA), having failed to secure Mr. Colbert as the Grand Marshall of the Winter Fest Parade, recently announced that Miss. Canada would be a more fitting replacement.

Amherstburg native Jaclyn Miles is Miss Canada 2012, and the 24-year old  holds multiple university degrees and is a spokesperson for the Break the Silence Campaign, as well as for the Canadian Centre for Abuse Awareness.

DWBIA Chairman Larry Horwitz expressed delight at having someone “much better” and “somebody as beautiful” as Miles as the Grand Marshall.

“I’m really happy to do it [and] my goal as Miss Canada was to bring more awareness to the area and to encourage the people that are from this area to aim big,” commented Miles, adding, “just because we’re a smaller city doesn’t mean we can’t achieve great things and I think the fact that I’ve been asked to be Grand Marshall shows that my message is being heard.”

Having taken offense to Mr. Colbert’s repeated jibes towards Windsor, Horwitz took to creating a comedic video portraying a fictional trip to New York City in which Horwitz questions pedestrians about Colbert, and is eventually denied entry to a fictional Colbert office.

“I think what’s happened is it’s brought the community together because we’ve started appreciating ourselves again and realizing what the positives are in our community, and we’re ready to tell the world that.” said Horwitz.

Not all Windsorites have sided with Horwitz however, and many are downright insulted and embarrassed at the fact that fellow Windsorites cannot take a joke.

Damian Piper was born at Grace Hospital, currently resides in British Columbia and expressed that if the video was produced to help lure people to Windsor, that it would fail to do so.

“There is nothing Windsor about the video,” commented Piper, adding, “It’s a shameless self-promotion piece by a man who feels entitled because he’s the chair of the Business Improvement Association. It’s definitely not a travel-Windsor video and in no way does it do the BIA any favours either.”

Horwitz, who had sent a package of products made in Windsor to Colbert, explained that the video was produced because he felt compelled to prove to Mr. Colbert that Windsor is not the Earth’s Rectum and jokingly added, “We couldn’t be the rectum because [these] products couldn’t come from that area…it could come from the mouth, it could come from the stomach, but definitely not that area.”

Further, Horwitz hopes to speak with the Governor of South Carolina to pressure the Governor into denying Colbert an appointment to the South Carolina Senate. Colbert, who is in fact leading the polls, is unlikely to be selected to replace outgoing Sen. Jim DeMint.

In regards to Mr. Colbert’s joke about Windsor being the Earth’s Rectum, Miles commented “great things come out of Windsor, and I’ve been all over Canada this year, and compared to all the other cities, this is what I call home. I hope to settle down and have my family here one day, so there’s no place I’d rather be.”

Mills explained that she had future aspirations of entering politics or performing work for the United Nations.

Watch the satirical video: “Windsor, Ontario is not the Earth’s Rectum”


Jon Liedtke

Miss Canada Named Winter Fest Parade Grand Marshall (ourwindsor.ca)


Jonathon Liedtke is the Features & Opinion Editor for the University of Windsor Lance Campus/Community Newspaper and a reporter for ourWindsor.ca. As a founding member and current Co-Chair of the Mayor’s Youth Advisory Committee, he is committed to representing, connecting, engaging with and advocating for local youth. He is also a member of Windsor’s “Punk with Horns” band The Nefidovs, and as such, is committed to enhancing and sustaining the arts community.